Pritha RaySircar+Next Step - Emerging Leader Labs

changing my language .... like from survivor to thriver

power -- and not being afraid of my power -- and the space that is making for me

waiting to see what that new space can hold

coming into a sense of nationalism, where my country is my body, and the beginnings of an allegiance to myself

my wicked skills in the kitchen

for all the degrees I have (4 Undergraduate degrees & 3 Masters)

for coming to peace for having lived my life not for myself

owning up to the resentments I've carried because of that

for being an iconoclast

for asking difficult questions and sticking around to help build answers

for my loyalty

my sense of duty

for the knowledge that I can re-tune my senses of loyalty and duty

for sensing my higher purpose

for having this be the Year of Being Uncomfortable

for sticking to it and finding the lessons there

for my ability to love

for the care I feel for the well-being of others ... sincere interest in whether others are eating enough, sleeping well, being happy...

for never being bored

for being a hard-tryer

for leaving college at 20 to become a journalist, then moved to Hong Kong to start MTV Asia, then to Susan, to City of Cambridge, then a public policy degree. For making value from my circumstances

for not knowing why coming here would matter and coming anyway

for having the intuition that this was an important destination

for staying, and committing, even when I wanted to leave

for working hard -- playing with the knobs and dials of my identity and openness to feedback

for shifting from thinking I'm a humble person to seeing I could flex my humilty muscle more

for showing up... and for practicing not showing up

for saying "no" -- sometimes with my body and other times with my mouth

for not needing approval

for feeling uncomfortable acknowledging myself

for understanding the practice of acknowledgement would lead to a healthier me

for having the idea of the TheMAKE

for failing to make TheMAKE happen and then continuing on until I translated it to a built edible garden

for weathering all the meetings, town halls, PTAs, Rotary Clubs... to reach community partners

for the successes and failures of the pilot

for finding a way to be happy and grateful for the pilot

for feeling like a child again (in parent's front yard) and being able to say "Look Mom & Dad, I made this!"

for being open to things... like shiny flecks, smells, stories,

continuously working on dismantling my significant armor

learning I needed to come into my own womanhood rather than thinking I needed more women

for learning not to just make myself someone else's problem.. exploring it and taking steps within it

being thorough, prepared, erudite and articulate

and the ability to be playful

captivating person to interact with... surprised to see what shows up next

for the courage to connect the parts of yourself to a path and purpose

how quickly you are able to connect and speak with people and all the relationships you formed in my community (& Sharon & CoCyclers)

for the part of you reaching out into the world to create an impact, and the impact you're making in more lives than you can know

wanting to belong to something (and staying with it so that I was one)

being an impactful teacher - what you teach from your experience, language, insight & clarity / what you teach from your being the beautiful loving moments and challenging difficult ones

sense of deep, profound love and caring within you

your path of practice and devotion in the world

calling people to a deeper level of truth, integrity and purpose with your own intensity of truth

for taking chances... expensive ones.... face palming, yet getting up to go on

for shifting the mission of the make to "neighbors building neighborhoods by any means necessary"

being provocative as a younger person, but then plumbing the depths of the provocation to find the truth in the ugliness in love

transformation within you... that enabled you to learn to be here... to stay in new and uncomfortable ways

not knowing what the hell I'm doing. Really.

not worrying about how to replicate these results / this transformation again

Ruben: many of the greatest lessons I'm bringing home began and emerged from interactions with you

allowing my stories to come undone

allowing my characters/selves to be unhoused

for being awesome

for being easily impressed ... and difficult to impress... and for releasing myself in the mirror so I can see something that's not monstrous

for new eyes ... which are small

for discovering your power could be expressed in ways that nourish (that you call "soft"), not just ways that slice (that you call "hard")

for hanging with my coach (who showed up like a polka dot bow, but lives like a ninja) and has become an important part of my new imaginal cells

for being the "only vagina" but bringing the power of 3 or 4 women - "poly-vaginal"

for finding a place within the group where women appear to me - being open to the idea that gender isn't so fixed - opening to the feminine and letting go of prejudices - it's not as important that your a "man" or a "woman" but experiencing a new appearance of masculine/feminine/feminism

having MoJo

for leaving behind my trauma lens. I will no longer look at my present and future through my past troubles.