Rubén Alvarado+Next Step

Closing the last chapter

Accomplishments

respecting my intution
not avoiding and trying to rid my shadow
being honest and allowing myself to show up as lonely or tired
being brave for making the change I had to do (even though I didn't like it), for trusting life
acting even when afraid, and letting myself be afraid
coming to see that when I though I was "doing nothing" that I've actually addressed lots of parts of my life that were very hard
doing many things for the first time and jumping into that with gusto (weeding, mowing, showing pictures, climbing trees)
ability to hold space for the group and be a gentle and gifted facilitator (beauty mirror).
showing what it looks like to put yourself first, not about selfishness, but about checking in with where you are first
bringing the awareness of beauty as not being about good or bad, and thus the capacity to find it everywhere
honoring the body, and being embodied, and sharing that with the group
bringing your heart and openness
integrating the body into the self
recognizing and being ok with disagreement

Completion of Failures, Goals, Promises, Expectations

Giving up having to do everything. I can't take care of everything. I just can't. I can do what I can do.
No more living for other people. (excercise for girls, speaking to get it right, being right for my mom)
I trust life. I'm willing to do what it takes go with her.
Moving from a mostly internal focus of thinking to actually doing things, i.e. finding a balance between going in and participating outside
release you from worring about how your stretching annoys me
release you from having to explain exactly what beauty mirror is exactly
release myself from beating myself for not accomplishing things, into being patient with myself

Where is magic and inspiration leading me?

Moving geographically to different places
Into an ability to influence people in new and deeper ways, especially show ways to live better
Trusting that life will place me where I will be able to be most helpful, be of most service
To understanding that it's the way I do things that matters to a kind of integration
Into the knowing what it feels like when things are right (not necessarily knowing where that is)
Feeling really big, and strong
Into forgiveness
Into "Sweet Uncertainty" (felt in the jaw and head)
Further into photography as a channel for beauty