It wasn't an easy morning for this maker. Full of self-criticism and hard feelings I was having trouble knowing what to do with myself. I ended up deciding to just sit down and write out everything that I was feeling. I don't feel like I need to explain much of what I wrote, I'm sure they're all things that most people have felt at some point or another. Maybe reading them will wake something up in you... give you a little bit more room for self-acceptance, just as I offered myself that by letting myself feel what I was feeling, which lets me move forward in more powerful ways than if I had stifled all of that.
I thought opening up this can of worms (recontextualizing identity work) was going to make me more powerful, now it just feels like I want to sit around crying.
Everyone else looks so strong while I feel terrified inside.
I'm always letting someone down.
I should just lock my feelings back up, look polished, and get sh*t done.
Everyone is giving me so much already, how can I ask for anything else?
I feel sick. I feel torn up. I feel raw, angry, and vulnerable. I feel like giving up. I feel broken. I am broken.