Emory Mort+Next Step

Closing the Last Chapter

Accomplishments... "I want to acknowledge myself for..."

having a rich and varied experience here and in my whole life leading up to this
overcoming struggles and for the times of enjoyment
stepping into my own path... especially in the recent years...
breaking free of other pressures and influences
exploring and expanding what I thought I was
making lots of good jokes
bringing humor to "de-ice" myself
being with the fact that I feel broken and shattered in a lot of ways... and not pretending that I'm put together...
letting latent interests emerge and be explored
reconnecting with practical skills and the earth
juggling a lot of balls at once... and being a pretty good juggler
going deep and attempting to access real, soulful meaning in my life... whole-heartedly but not obsessively
attempting to make things rather than fight against things... nourish instead of becoming embittered or undiscerningly polyanna-ish
working with people in various realms: gameshifting, fixing up the workspace, communications, projects
feeling part of a community in a different way than I ever have
offering the imagination presentations
for accepting coaching and feedback
standing for what's going on here when presenting it to others
hosting Connor
bringing things into the space
for being generous with this group in ways I've never been before
bringing and expressing my enthusiasm
for showing up like a grown up, and then becoming more than "a grown up" and restoring playfulness
letting magic be a major part of your life
making friends with your demons
Ruben: making me feel so welcome and comfortable at your house
Pri: for being my ambassador to Chatham, meeting me at the train, welcoming arrival, tour, parents home, etc.
for staying with yourself with you feel fine or not so fine... to have your full experience
for being someone who is committing to himself no matter what
for not being prejudiced in the kitchen... exploring, playful and open
getting a reusable cup, and using it
being a bridge to local resources
setting up and doing the radio interview
for bringing visitors and sharing with community and brothers
for being a seeker (and for finding us... and sharing the knowledge you've found in your seeking)
- like casting the I Ching at the beginning of the labs
for spending the most time away, and yet for being the first/last, your leavetakings and rejoinings (rejoinders?)
for all the driving you've done... for all of us
Ben: for calling me into authenticity and embodiment
Kyle: for your "clever damage control" and making things easier
the work you're doing integrating your hard & soft (especially with family)
for making Mickki cry with your application (when she was reading it to Eric and I on the drive up from Asheville.) I'm sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you.
for sharing your gifts and intentions authentically... and dancing with what was needed...
going with the flow, and trusting yourself
for your bruschetta!
your leadership is accessible
Connor: the multi-dimensional you -- when I arrived I felt we were already friends, and in leaving... that our infinite friendship will continue on other planes
for our relationship of great magnitude and cosmic wonder
for practicing calling yourself out...

Completions

From my time here, I have changed my relationship with death. My old fearful perspective is complete and gone.
also I release myself from an expectation that it wasn't useful to think about death
a release from expectations that I would unconsciously follow the programming from parents, schoolmasters, media, etc
release the fear that I don't have the strength to live with purpose
completing my idea that I'm a high-achiever... and make space for what authentically wants to show up and be expressed
releasing a failure to put limits and healthy restrictions during this time -- I can do anything, but not everything
mark the fulfillment of a promise to honor the experience of being alive
release of the expectation that I can make my life perfect
release from the expectation that my experience and lessons would be appreciated by others in my life (especially parents)
the goal of changing the things for the better
expectation that I can't have beauty, comfort and wealth... or life would be too easy and I wouldn't grow
image of self a broken soul / shattered plate -- more like the imaginal cells forming a new organism -- a big happy mushy mess
my refusal to connect to other people and give a shit about them
from the expectation that I am not capable of forming long-tem, soulful relationships and connections -- significant others, community
release the pattern that I could calculate my way through life... merchant mind... rational navigation... minimal investmest and risk
release the expectation that I'll conform to the dialogue and communication of those around me (web site people, parents, family...) / released from the subtle but damning process of going along

Opening the Next Chapter

Where magic and inspiration are leading me

grateful that ELL isn't immediately re-opening... creates a new magical window
attuned to my body and to the earth
accessing my full capacities of craftmanship
opportunities for choice / freedom from fear and guilt
practicing astrology, working with my hands, working in community,
diving into my new ever-changing and blossoming relationships
creative projects, writing, humor, bodily performance, dance
teaching and workshops
take a trip / pilgimmage (maybe in the winter)
continue cultivating the relationships which emerged here